vacuum.

5:42 AM

There's too many things to say, there's too many things that I wanted to shout out loud but it all got stuck. My voice is not coming out. I'm screaming in vacuum. The moment it reaches its way out, it disappears like everything else in this world. I've been consumed with this feeling of longing, and sadness. Something is making me sad. I don't know what is, or maybe I know deep down but haven't realized it yet.

My soul is crying again and again.
But why?

I need to get back to you.
I need to get back to you.
I need to get back to you.

You're all over me, so near, so close.
But that's just it.
I was the one that got lost.
In the abyss. In this uncertainties. In this unbeknown world.
Everything seems unreal.
Everything seems unfamiliar.

What is it that I'm so afraid of?
Why is it that I'm feeling like I'm about to cry,
Like I'm going to lose something.
Is it hormones? No. It's way past that.

What are this unsettling feelings in my heart?
and why are they so loud?

They are screaming at me, but I can't understand anything.

Why?
Why can't I understand my own internal screams?
Did we speak different language?
Aren't we in the same body?
Why are my feelings feels so foreign to me?

Ah,
I feel so disconnected.









I need to get back.
Kaeru.
Isoide ienikaeru.